Essays On Narcissism

Farrell and Edson (2003) note that "Hare (1993) suggests that psychopathy emerges from a complex and poorly understood interplay of biological and social factors.Additional studies support and extend this research, indicating that psychopaths' brains are different from those of normal people (Patrick, 1994 and Doren, 1987)." Stawar (1997) wondered, "Do some individuals have the ability to manipulate certain others into committing horrendous acts of violence and mayhem' What parameters might define such an antisocial personality disorder by proxy, and what are the underlying dimensions and dynamics'" This possibility will be further examined later in this paper.We might like or love the friend with whom we pose, but we recoil at this rendering that makes our ­faces different and similar at the same time.

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It’s a much more interesting place than static, passive victimhood, “where all the narcissistic romance websites invite you to be: in the center of the world, stuck in time, assessing the moral status of others, until love is gone.”In “How to Quit,” an essay published in n 1 a few years ago, Dombek owned up to being what someone less imaginative than she might term an enabler. and/or love people with a dead parent or two, bipolar or otherwise depressed people, musicians, writers and/or pathological liars,” she writes. They always just seem to me like the best people in the world.” Dombek has been burned by more than one narcissist, it would seem, but she’s no longer a moth to the flame.

“Drunks, drug addicts, sex addicts, compulsive gamblers and/or people on or recovering from deep, life-threatening benders: These are the only people who really hold my interest, which means that I usually am friends with . “The Selfishness of Others” rejects the rush and sweep of feeling for something measured and resilient.

How well can we know ourselves, and how do we stack up against others?

Anders Breivik, in prison for murdering 77 people, “complains of his conditions: His Play Station does not have the games he likes, his room lacks a view, and all he wants to do is write apocalyptic memoirs and manifestoes about how women and Muslims are growing in power and must be overcome, but the rubber pen he’s been given cramps his hand.” By underscoring the humdrum nature of his complaints, both petty and familiar, Dombek suggests we have our own blind spots and may have more in common with Breivik than we care to admit.“When macaques are shown pictures of other monkeys whose faces are like theirs,” Dombek writes, “and then monkeys whose faces are less and less like theirs, they hit, somewhere along the way, what neuroscientists call the ‘uncanny valley’ and freak out.” This put me in mind of a Snapchat feature: a radical, random flash of plastic surgery that merges the ­faces of two people sharing the same frame.

Fewer still might associate narcissism, which has become a popular term for anyone who is self-involved (the quintessential Valley Girl of a generation ago, and, arguably, Friends on TV of the current one) to an overwhelming extent.

And still fewer might associate narcissism with heinous criminal acts.This is not an indication of a security issue such as a virus or attack.It could be something as simple as a run away script or learning how to better use E-utilities, for more efficient work such that your work does not impact the ability of other researchers to also use our site.The other morning, I was catcalled by a tanned and tattooed dude hanging out next to Penn Station. Dombek is excellent on the language of pop psychology and how it flatters those everyday narcissists: people in the throes of heartbreak.“You’re pretty,” he said, and (requiring excessive admiration) I smiled at him. “Rather than just getting upset because your boyfriend is not talking to you as much as he used to, you’ll recognize that he is ‘doing a discard,’ ” she writes, sampling the paranoid style of “that sizable portion of the self-help internet we might call, awkwardly, the narcisphere.” On sites like and, “the victims of narcissists learn to hone their ‘narcdar’ for diagnosing ‘ncism’ and their ‘narc’; call themselves ‘narcissistic supply’; help one another watch out for narc strategies such as ‘love bombing,’ ‘mirroring,’ ‘dosing,’ ‘silent treatment,’ ‘word salad,’ ‘triangulation’ and ‘hoovering’; and find comfort when they experience a D&D (devalue and discard) or an IDD (idealize, devalue, discard).Dombek’s take on narcissists is that it takes one to know one.That said, she is sufficiently self-aware to direct her attention outward for the bulk of this slim and disciplined book.Dombek’s “The Selfishness of Others: An Essay on the Fear of Narcissism” is a treatise that comes in at just under 140 pages of text, dense with information but light on its feet.In seven chapters, Dombek turns over a topic that is big and slippery, trendy and hoary, thorny and funny: the charge of narcissism, as it appears in literature (Ovid, Freud) and the Literature (Alice Miller, Donald Winnicott, Otto Kern­berg); on reality television (MTV’s “My Super Sweet 16”) and the internet (soupy self-help sites); and within the life of the author, though here she is careful, perhaps exceedingly so.When, toward the end, she offers a little of her own experience, she does it in the second or third person with a few choice anecdotes — one that involves a herd of wild horses, another that takes place in the back seat of a late-’90s Pontiac Bonneville. I found myself thinking of this book as a kind of corollary to Larissa Mac Farquhar’s “Strangers Drowning,” which shows how selflessness can turn destructive when empathy goes into overdrive.Dombek looks at the flip side: Is it possible to splash around in narcissism’s shallow pool in a joyful, generous way?


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